My Girlfriend Won’t Tell Her Parents About Me – What Should I Do?

So you’re in a relationship and it’s hit you that “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me”. In this scenario, context matters. 

If you’ve only just started dating (i.e. you’ve been going out on several dates and just made it official), then I feel it would be too soon to tell and meet the parents. 

If it’s been more than a year, then the notion that “My girlfriend is hiding our relationship” might hold some truth.

However, it’s important to remember that every relationship is different and so long as you both have discussed and agreed on a timeline of when to meet the parents, then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

But let’s read further if you’d like to know why your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you and how to navigate the situation.

Summary 

• 6 reasons why my girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me 
• 8 things to do when my girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me
• Frequently asked questions 
  • Why does my girlfriend hide me from her parents?
  • Is it OK to not tell your parents about your relationship?
• Conclusion 

RELATED POSTS 

• My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married (10 Reasons Why)
• My Girlfriend Doesn’t Share Her Problems. Why? (+Solutions) 
• My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex (12 Reasons Why)

DISCLOSURE

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

6 Reasons Why My Girlfriend Won’t Tell Her Parents About Me

If you want to know why “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me”, the best thing to do would be to ask your girlfriend. However, there are several reasons why “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me”. 

These are merely suggestions and you should only consider the ones that you feel are relevant to your situation.

1. She’s afraid of commitment 

Credit: 1388843

One of the reasons why your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you is because she’s afraid of commitment. 

Recall previous conversations with your girlfriend, did she share any of her concerns with you about being in a relationship? 

Telling and meeting the parents signals the next step towards a committed relationship and perhaps your girlfriend has fears about commitment that she’s yet to address. 

2. She was previously in a bad relationship 

What’s her dating history? Has she been in a committed relationship before?

Experience shapes behavior so perhaps the reason “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me” is because she had a bad experience with her previous boyfriend. 

She mentioned and introduced her previous boyfriend to her parents only for the relationship to end.

This could have impacted her self-confidence and her ability to discern whether it was worth going through the experience again. This might also confirm your suspicions that “My girlfriend hasn’t introduced me to her family”.

3. She’s not ready to tell her parents about you 

Another reason why “My girlfriend won’t tell her about her parents about me” is she’s simply not ready. 

This might have nothing to do with the relationship or her feelings towards you but rather she needs more time than you to take this relationship to the next level. 

This relates to the first point which is your girlfriend has a fear of commitment. Perhaps she needs more time to prepare herself for this next relationship stage.

4. It’s not a good time for her family 

Sometimes, the reason why your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you has nothing to do with the relationship. 

Instead, it could be that her family isn’t ready because they have other matters to tend to. Don’t feel disheartened if this is the case.

Your girlfriend knows her family more than you and if she knows that this isn’t a good time to bring you up, then so be it. 

5. She’s worried about how her parents will feel 

Credit: RobinHiggins 

If you find yourself in a situation where “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me”, one of the reasons could be that she’s worried about how her parents will feel. 

Perhaps her parents have high standards or expectations over who their children should date. They probably nit-pick over minute details and will bombard the both of you with questions she isn’t ready to face.

In some cultures, a parent’s approval of their partner is important. If your girlfriend’s family practices this, then it could be that she values her parents’ approval and is worried they won’t approve of this relationship.

6. She’s not sure about you 

This is a tough reason to consider but another reason why your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you is because she’s not sure about this relationship. 

For some people, telling the parents means that you’re serious about the relationship. In this case, your girlfriend could be contemplating whether she likes you enough to tell her parents about you. 

However, the only way to know why she won’t tell her parents about you is by confronting this with her. 

8 Things You Can Do When My Girlfriend Won’t Tell Her Parents About Me 

1. Don’t ignore your feelings 

Don’t downplay your concerns that your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you. Often, when something doesn’t feel right, we ignore it for fear that it will force us to confront difficult truths. 

However, we must acknowledge such feelings as it’s indicative that this is important to you.

Journal your thoughts and ask yourself why this is a concern to you. You must be clear about how your girlfriend not telling her parents about you makes you feel. 

If this practice seems overwhelming to you, you can confide in a friend whom you trust or speak with a licensed therapist to help you navigate your emotions.

2. Bring up your concerns 

Credit: gracinistudio

Initiate the conversation when you’re ready, and pick a time when you’re both ready. Explain to her how her not telling her parents about you makes you feel. 

Use “I statements” such as “I feel hurt that you don’t want to tell your parents about me. It makes me feel that you don’t want me to be part of your life”.  

Framing your thoughts like this centers the conversation around how her actions make you feel, and hopefully make your girlfriend more understanding of your perspective. 

If the conversation gets heated, don’t hesitate to pause the conversation and return when you’re both calm. It’s important to remember the foal is not to pick a fight but rather address the problem together.

3. Be empathetic 

When it’s your girlfriend’s turn to explain why she won’t tell her parents about you, ensure that you’re empathetic.

Empathy refers to the ability to understand the person who is speaking by feeling their emotions with them. We won’t truly know why your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you.

So it’s important to remember that you’re here to listen to understand why “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me” rather than to argue.

4. Actively listen to your girlfriend explain why she won’t tell her parents about you 

Credit: gracinistudio

One of the essential ways to practice empathy is by actively listening to your girlfriend. Several ways to practice active listening include maintaining eye contact and only interrupting if you need clarification

This might be a difficult conversation for your girlfriend so another way to be there with her is by holding her hand for support. 

You may summarise each other points at the end of the conversation so that you’re both clear of each other’s perspective. 

5. Offer her reassurance 

Credit: Jupilu 

As mentioned earlier, a potential reason your girlfriend won’t tell her parents about you is due to personal reasons. If it’s a matter of uncertainty, offer her assurance that you’re serious about this relationship and want to move things forward. 

If she’s concerned about her parents’ approval, identify together what it would take to make them approve of your relationship.

I have friends who’ve been in this situation before and what I’ve learned is that you must have patience and resilience as some parents will take a long time to give their approval.

You might have to prepare yourself for the possibility of ending the relationship if you don’t receive her parents’ approval.

If she thinks it’s too soon, then we shouldn’t force or pressure our girlfriend to tell her parents. The best thing we can do at this point is to respect her views. 

If you force her to do something she doesn’t want to do, then this will only push her away.

6. Identify when would be a good time to tell her parents 

If your girlfriend has made it clear that she’s committed to this relationship but isn’t ready to tell her parents, then establish a timeline that works for both of you. 

Be patient with your girlfriend as this might be a big step for her but ensure that you hold her accountable.

If she doesn’t hold her end of the bargain, then you might want to consider whether it’s worth pursuing this relationship or if this is overstepping your boundaries. 

7. Establish boundaries 

Boundaries refer to actions, rules, or guidelines of how you like to be treated. Think about what behavior you can and cannot tolerate from your girlfriend. 

If she keeps moving the goalpost of when to tell her parents or she keeps making excuses, then this shows that she might not be serious about you. 

Identify how many chances you’re willing to give her before deciding to call it quits. Be sure to hold on to your word or else she will take your forgiveness for granted. 

8. Consider breaking up as an option if she refuses to tell her parents about you 

As mentioned in my previous point, if your girlfriend keeps pushing the timeline or finds excuses to not tell her parents, then it’s time to reassess this relationship. 

If you’ve made it clear that you intend to end the relationship if she doesn’t tell her parents by a certain date, then you need to respect your boundaries and not fall back on your word. 

Otherwise, she won’t take this boundary seriously and will take you for granted. You deserve to be with someone who is just as committed as you. 

If telling and meeting the parents is an important step for you, then you should be with someone who agrees and will not hesitate to introduce their parents to you. 

While it’s easier said than done, it’s important to look at the bigger picture and find someone willing to meet you halfway to make it work.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Why does my girlfriend hide me from her parents?

She might be new to the thing or she might not have parents who are so supportive about it. She wants to keep a low profile because she’s worried something will happen if anyone from her family finds out. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, she just doesn’t want to risk jeopardizing this relationship 

Is it OK to not tell your parents about your relationship?

In defense of your girlfriend: If you don’t want to introduce your partner to your parents to protect either them or yourself, that does not make you a bad person or your relationship any less committed. However, if this is a concern to you, it’s best to communicate this with your girlfriend. 

Conclusion 

It’s natural for us to assume the worst when we find out that “My girlfriend won’t tell her parents about me”. 

However, before jumping to conclusions, you must have an honest conversation with your girlfriend about the matter. Only then can you decide how to move forward. All the best!