My boyfriend is acting weird (8 REASONS WHY) 

So you’ve caught yourself thinking, “My boyfriend is acting weird”. You’ve noticed that he’s been behaving oddly the last few days to weeks. 

When I first started dating my boyfriend, whenever I noticed he was acting weird, I would assume it was because of me or the relationship. 

My mind tends to think irrationally but I’m learning that my thoughts aren’t necessarily a reflection of my reality. 

Sure enough, the reason my boyfriend was acting weird was because his mind was preoccupied with work. 

Now, whenever I notice my boyfriend behaving out of character, I’ll ask him what is on his mind rather than make assumptions. 

Perhaps you might be in a similar situation with your boyfriend. Or do you feel there’s more to it? 

Whatever it is, read further if you’d like to know why is my boyfriend acting weird all of a sudden and what to do about it. 

Summary 

• 8 reasons why my boyfriend is acting weird 
• 10 things to do when my boyfriend is acting weird 
• Frequently asked questions 
  • Why is my boyfriend acting different all of a sudden?
  • Why is he acting cold all of a sudden?
• Conclusion 

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DISCLOSURE 

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1. My boyfriend is acting weird because his feelings are hurt

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Recall conversations you’ve had with him previously. Did he seem withdrawn afterward? Or did it lead to an argument that hasn’t been fully resolved? 

The reason you think “My boyfriend is acting weird” is because there are some matters that haven’t been addressed. 

His feelings might have been hurt and instead of confronting you about it, he’s choosing to be dismissive or distant. 

2. My boyfriend is acting weird because he struggles to communicate how he feels 

This ties into the first point but the reason why “My boyfriend is acting weird” is because he doesn’t know how to communicate how he feels. 

Your boyfriend could be struggling to find the right words to express how he feels. 

With that said, he’s withdrawing socially and keeping his feelings to himself to avoid offending you. 

He could also fear how you’ll react when he communicates how he feels. 

3. He’s struggling with problems outside of this relationship

It’s important to remind ourselves that our partners have responsibilities outside of this relationship. 

Your boyfriend is acting weird because he is facing a stressful time at work, he is experiencing financial troubles, or he has family matters that need his attention. 

Your partner could be withholding the struggles he’s experiencing personally because he only wants you to see the good parts and doesn’t want you to worry about him. 

But unfortunately, this has translated into him acting weird instead. 

4. My boyfriend is acting weird because He’s got a lot on his mind 

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With that said, the reason why you’re thinking “My boyfriend is acting weird” is because he’s got a lot on his mind. 

I noticed my boyfriend acting weird and I confronted him about his behavior. He finally admitted that he had a hard day at work and that he didn’t want to burden me with his problems. 

Perhaps your boyfriend feels the same way and doesn’t want you to get caught up in his personal affairs which is rubbing off on his behavior towards you. 

5. My boyfriend is acting weird because He feels overwhelmed 

Are you and your boyfriend in a serious relationship? Have you begun discussing what the next steps of your relationship should be? 

Perhaps your boyfriend is acting weird because he feels overwhelmed by how quickly things are moving. Or he’s not ready to move forward with this relationship and doesn’t know how to express this with you. 

If this is the case, this doesn’t necessarily signal alarm bells but it does indicate a need to discuss how he feels about this relationship before taking any further steps together. 

6. He’s having second thoughts 

Similarly, another reason “My boyfriend is acting weird” is because he’s having second thoughts about this relationship. 

This is a hard truth to consider but often when a partner starts withdrawing, one of the reasons could be that they’ve had a change of heart regarding the relationship. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean this could be the case in your relationship. The only way to know why is my boyfriend acting weird is by having a conversation with him. 

7. He feels emotionally disconnected 

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This could be the period in your relationship where the reason “My boyfriend is acting weird” is because he feels emotionally disconnected from you. 

Maintaining a relationship takes work and perhaps you both have been so busy that you’ve neglected to check in on each other. 

Perhaps your boyfriend’s needs aren’t being met recently and it’s driving a wedge between you two. Again, this isn’t necessarily a red flag. 

So long as you both have an honest conversation and are willing to put in the work of rebuilding the connection in your relationship, then you don’t need to worry. 

8. My boyfriend is acting weird because He’s hiding something from me 

Another possibility as to why my boyfriend is acting weird is because he’s hiding something from you. 

Some may be blindsided by this revelation but others have suspicions that their partner is cheating on them. 

This article suggests the common signs of infidelity which include changes in communication, more time spent away from home, change in attitude, and avoidance. 

If you’ve noticed any of these behaviors and your intuition is leaning toward this direction, then you need to address the matter with your boyfriend immediately. 

10 Things To Do When My Boyfriend Is Acting Weird 

1. Notice when your mind is racing and journal your thoughts

If your boyfriend is acting weird, chances are a million thoughts are running through your head. 

However, if you continue to ruminate over such thoughts and not do anything about it, you will only drain your energy and make you feel more distressed. 

So spend 15 to 30 minutes writing down what comes to mind when you think your boyfriend is acting weird. 

What specific behaviors is he demonstrating that makes you think he’s acting weird? 

How does this behavior make you feel? 

Be honest and objective as possible when starting this writing exercise. 

2. Take a moment to pause 

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Once you’ve written your thoughts, take a moment to pause. It would have taken a lot of courage to be open and share your thoughts on paper so well done for taking this step. 

Take deep breaths and practice mindfulness for 5 to 15 minutes. Or do whatever it takes to ground you in a position where you feel more calm and collected. 

3. Initiate the conversation 

Now that you’ve gathered your thoughts, initiate the conversation with your boyfriend. Ask him how he’s feeling and explain to him gently that you’ve noticed he’s been acting weird. 

It’s important to create a safe space for him to be honest with his feelings so reassure him that the intention of this conversation is not to pass judgment or argue but rather to understand why he’s behaving oddly. 

4. Actively listen 

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When he finally opens up, be ready to actively listen to his perspective. Naturally, you might want to respond with positive affirmations or offer solutions. 

You also might want to defend yourself if the reason for his odd behavior is because of you. 

However, these replies will only push him further because it would feel like you’re invalidating his feelings. 

What you can do instead is be empathetic. This means feeling the emotions with him so that you can be understanding. 

Other ways to be empathetic are by listening without judgment, nodding to reassure him, and maintaining eye contact. 

You may interrupt him if you need to clarify what he’s saying and summarise his points so that you’re both on the same page. 

5. Reassess the relationship 

Take a moment to reflect on how the conversation went after hearing what he had to say.

If you think his reasons were valid and that he sounds remorseful, then you can consider moving forward with this relationship. Provided that he is willing to put in the work to improve. 

However, if you still feel dissatisfied by his answers and that he’s not being truthful, you may want to reconsider staying with him. 

6. Offer emotional support 

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If you decide to continue this relationship, then be ready to forgive him and move on. 

If you continue to hold a grudge over this behavior, this can lead to resentment and subsequently harm the relationship. 

Focus on then identifying how you both can improve the relationship and ensure that your boyfriend stops acting weird. 

If your boyfriend’s been acting weird due to personal struggles, then be ready to offer him emotional support. 

Different people have different ideas of how they’d like to be supported during challenging times. 

For instance, it could be offering to run their errands on their behalf, cooking them a nice meal, or just giving them their own space. 

Discuss with your boyfriend, and for future reference, how you both would like to be supported. 

7. Schedule weekly check-ins  

If my boyfriend is acting weird and distant because he doesn’t know how to express how he feels, then I would schedule weekly check-ins. 

Relationship expert and psychologist John Gottman explained that contempt is the no.1 predictor of divorce. 

Contempt refers to a belief that you’re superior to your partner and you have nothing positive to say about them. This stems from feeling unappreciated or unacknowledged in the relationship. 

Instead of expressing how their partner’s actions make them feel, they suppress it and their contempt will be reflected in their words and actions such as sarcasm, eye-rolling, and mockery.

To avoid contempt from harming your relationship, you can schedule a weekly check-in with your partner to see how they’re feeling and if any matters need to be resolved. 

Approach this conversation gently and use “I statement” instead of “You statements” to avoid sounding like it’s criticism. 

An example could be “I feel disrespected when you spoke in that tone of voice. I need you to tell me kindly when I’ve made a mistake”. 

This focuses on the action rather than a judgment on your partner’s character. This conversation aims to learn how you both can improve and be better partners for each other. 

Practicing this consistently will hopefully encourage both of you to be more open and expressive, and make your boyfriend stop acting weird. 

8. Make bids for connection 

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If you’ve identified that my boyfriend is acting weird all of a sudden because he feels emotionally disconnected, then you can start making bids for connection. 

Another term coined by John Gottman is bids. It’s used to describe all the small and big acts of kindness that are given by our partners. 

When we receive and reciprocate these bids, it will foster a deeper connection with our loved ones. 

Examples of bids include complimenting our boyfriends, scheduling a dinner date, or hugging them after a long day at work. 

These small acts when done consistently by both parties can strengthen your relationship. 

This reminds me of a quote I read from entrepreneur, Steven Bartlett’s book, The Diary Of The CEO. 

He noticed that people who emailed him about their career, business, or relationship woes all share a pattern that their current situation is a product of neglecting the small things over some time. 

If you need further assistance and are willing to invest the time, money, and effort, you may speak with a licensed therapist or relationship counselor to navigate this situation. 

9. Practise gratitude 

Another way to emotionally connect and prevent your boyfriend from acting weird is by practicing gratitude. 

Share one thing that the other person has done that they’re grateful for. 

Decide how frequently you’d like to practice this and ensure that it’s done consistently. 

The aim here is to inject more care into the relationship and it will encourage you to see your partner in a positive light. 

So the next time your partner is experiencing negative emotions, you’re aware that this behavior is unusual. 

As a result of this, you’re also more likely to approach him with curiosity rather than anxiety. 

10. Break up with your boyfriend if he continues to act weird

If you don’t feel satisfied with his answers, or your intuition is telling you that he’s hiding something, it’s worth observing how he behaves after this confrontation. 

If your boyfriend continues to act weird and displays signs of infidelity, then you must end the relationship. 

Not showing any genuine attempt to improve his actions or strengthen the relationship is also an indication that he’s not committed. 

If he’s having second thoughts, decide what he needs from you to feel reassured. If he needs time to reevaluate his commitment, give him the space to do so. 

However, be clear when he must tell you his decision: to stay or leave. Be mentally prepared for the possibility that he will choose the latter and that you have to accept his decision. 

If he’s still unsure by the assigned date, take it as a sign that he’s not interested enough to be in this relationship and that you should end things with him. 

You deserve to be with someone who confidently wants to be with you and who’s willing to put in the consistent effort to grow with you in this partnership. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Why is my boyfriend acting different all of a sudden?

He may be stressed about things in other areas of his life, like work or family, that are occupying his mind. Your boyfriend might need time to reconsider his commitment towards this relationship or his mind is preoccupied with friend or family woes. 

Why is he acting cold all of a sudden?

They’ll usually act cold when they are uncertain of their feelings or yours. Don’t be disheartened when you notice a sudden change in his disposition. Reassure him of your love so that he’ll feel more open to trust you. 

Else, you might need to reassess this relationship if it’s not reciprocated. 

Conclusion 

I know the idea of your boyfriend acting weird can conjure up some unpleasant feelings. However, I’m here to remind you that your thoughts are separate from your reality. 

So take a step back, reflect on why you think your boyfriend is acting weird, and then have an open and honest discussion about it. 

Having the conversation should give more clarity towards his behavior and help you decide how to proceed from there. All the best!