Conversations around weight gain are sensitive, and more so when it’s your girlfriend gaining weight.
You want to confront your girlfriend’s weight gain but a) you feel bad for even thinking that your girlfriend gaining weight is an issue and b) you don’t know how to without hurting her feelings.
I find the topic of weight gain is a delicate subject that should be discussed with care. So, read further if you’d like to know how to approach the subject of your girlfriend gaining weight.
Summary
- Should I tell my girlfriend she’s gaining weight?
- 14 ways to approach your girlfriend gaining weight?
- Frequently asked questions
- What to do when partner gains weight?
- What does it mean when a girl gains weight in a relationship?
- Does weight gain affect relationships?
- Conclusion
RELATED POSTS
- My Girlfriend Is So Mean To Me (15 Reasons Why)
- Why Does My Girlfriend Get Mad So Easily (12 Tips)
- Why Does My Girlfriend Ignore Me (A 16-Step Guide)
Should I Tell My Girlfriend She’s Gaining Weight?
This depends on how she feels about herself. If your girlfriend gained weight, she knows it. The next thing you need to consider is how she thinks about it.
If she’s happy with her body, then you shouldn’t be imposing your opinions. If you think there’s a problem with her weight gain, then you need to reflect on why it’s a concern for you.
You can address her weight gain in a manner that is centered around her health rather than her physical appearance if this is your concern. If it’s because you feel less attracted to her, then you need to look inward and examine your beliefs.
Your girlfriend will want to address this matter if her weight gain hasn’t made her happy i.e. you’ve noticed that she talks negatively about her body, or she asks you if you think she’s fat. Then you can discuss your girlfriend gaining weight.
However, you need to approach this subject in a kind and loving manner.
14 Ways To Approach Your Girlfriend Gaining Weight
If you still feel obligated to confront your girlfriend about her weight gain, then consider these steps below. It’s important to emphasize that this is a delicate subject and should be handled with care.
1. Don’t feel guilty for thinking “my girlfriend gained weight”
You’re probably feeling guilty that you’ve noticed your girlfriend gaining weight. You’re probably wondering if this means you only love your girlfriend superficially because physical appearances shouldn’t matter.
It’s true physical appearances shouldn’t be the core reason why you love someone. However, you shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re hit with the thought that is, “My girlfriend gained weight”. It’s how you respond to it that matters.
2. Self-reflect on your girlfriend’s weight gain
Credit: RazorMax
Now that you’re aware of your girlfriend gaining weight, take a moment to reflect on why her weight gain is bothering you.
Is it because you’re not physically attracted to her? Is it because you’re concerned about her health? Write down your thoughts if you have to. What’s essential is that you’re being honest with yourself.
3. Question your thoughts on your girlfriend’s weight gain
If you no longer feel physically attracted to your girlfriend, ask yourself whether you truly love her. Physical attraction is important but looks fade and bodies change over time so there needs to be subjective reasons why you love your partner.
There needs to be a connection that extends beyond just physical or sexual attraction. What qualities do you admire about your girlfriend? Loving each other as individuals despite the weight gain curvage is what will sustain a relationship.
If you are worried about your girlfriend’s weight gain for health reasons, then be prepared to approach the subject as delicately as possible.
4. Practise acceptance and humility over your girlfriend’s weight gain
It’s important to remember that your body will go through changes as well. Replace judgment with humility instead. Ask yourself how you’d feel if your girlfriend didn’t feel physically attracted to you because you gained weight.
If you’re concerned about your girlfriend gaining weight for superficial reasons i.e. you’re embarrassed to be with her or you think she looks fat, then you need to reexamine what your beauty ideals are. Such thoughts are harmful to you and your girlfriend.
You shouldn’t impose these physical standards if it means making your girlfriend feel bad in the process.
If you truly believe that physical attraction is important to you and your girlfriend isn’t meeting those standards, then you either need to reframe your perspective i.e. reflect on the other qualities that make her sexually attractive or end the relationship.
Otherwise, being judgmental towards your girlfriend gaining weight will only hurt your relationship.
5. Gauge her feelings before confronting your girlfriend about her weight
You mustn’t come across as sounding patronizing or critical when discussing her weight. Gauge how she’s feeling and see if she’s ready to have a conversation about it. Pick a time to discuss this when she’s calm.
If she is and she wants you to be honest, then you can admit to her that you’ve noticed her weight gain but reassure her that it doesn’t make her less than.
Often, women are shown unrealistic beauty standards by the media and it can harm how they view their bodies so you must remind your girlfriend that her self-worth is not defined by her weight.
6. Reframe the conversation around “our health” instead of your girlfriend’s weight gain
Credit: gracinistudios
If she isn’t ready to have this conversation and you’re still adamant about confronting your girlfriend gaining weight, then you can reframe the conversation to one about your health.
Avoid statements like “I’ve noticed you’re overweight” or “You look fat” as they may hurt your girlfriend’s feelings and can come across as sounding judgmental.
Instead, use “Us statements” like, “I think we should improve our health” or “We could eat better”. This will make the conversation feel less like an attack on her body or lifestyle choices, but rather one about the relationship and both of your health.
7. Be sorry if she takes it the wrong way
As mentioned earlier, weight gain is a delicate subject matter and it’s normal if you find yourself accidentally saying something that will offend or hurt your girlfriend’s feelings. What matters is how you navigate this.
Apologize immediately if you said anything to upset her. Reassure her that you’re not judging her and explain what your intentions are when she’s calmed down.
The goal is to ensure that you maintain a safe space for both of you to share openly and honestly.
8. Be empathetic about your girlfriend gaining weight
When she’s ready to talk about her weight, be sure to practice empathy. Empathy means the ability to sense other people’s emotions. It also means being able to feel the emotion that the other is feeling so that they feel understood.
9. Listen without judgment over your girlfriend gaining weight
One way to practice empathy is to listen without judgment. You shouldn’t interrupt or try to console your girlfriend when she’s talking about her weight. Instead, you should listen to understand why she’s gaining weight and how it’s making her feel.
10. Offer emotional support when your girlfriend feels bad about her weight gain
Credit: freestocks-photos
Your girlfriend is probably feeling overwhelmed after confiding in you about her weight gain. Be ready to offer her emotional support.
Thank her for her vulnerability and for expressing her feelings with you. It must’ve taken her a lot of courage to open up about a sensitive topic.
Avoid saying things like “I’m sure you’ll be fine” or “Other people have it worse”. This form of toxic positivity is harmful because it invalidates her feelings. Instead, embrace her and acknowledge her feelings.
11. Make her feel loved when she doesn’t feel good about her weight gain
Credit: StockSnap
Once she’s in a better mood, identify ways you can make her feel loved. It can be taking her out on a nice meal or staying in and watching a movie. The point is to show her that you’re there for her and that you care about her.
Provided that she wants to lose weight, another way to show care is to support her on her fitness journey. There are many ways you can go about doing this.
12. Plan out an exercise routine
You can support your girlfriend by planning an exercise routine together. It’s best to plan it gradually. Start with small actionable goals so that she’ll feel more motivated and less defeated.
This could be going to the gym once a week or going for a jog during the weekend. Then you can start incorporating more into her exercise routine once she’s developed a strong foundation or consistent habit of exercising.
13. Do a physical activity together
Credit: CallyL
Another way you can help your girlfriend stay accountable is by doing a physical activity together. Examples include picking up a sport like cycling or signing up for a group class.
Not only can you provide support on her fitness journey but it will be a great way for you to bond together and maintain a strong relationship.
If you take the initiative to improve your health, then perhaps your girlfriend will be motivated by your example to also improve her health.
14. Cook healthy meals together
Credit: 089photoshootings
Cooking healthy meals together is another great activity you can do as a couple to not only help your girlfriend improve her health but also your connection with each other.
There are plenty of recipes and blogs online that you can refer to identify what meals to cook. You can also consult with a nutritionist or health expert on what food to consume and avoid.
Frequently Asked Questions
What to do when partner gains weight?
If you want to motivate your partner, you must draw the line between encouragement and being the food police. You don’t have to monitor your eating and exercise habits if you don’t have a weight issue, but it’s still helpful and inspiring if you take the initiative to lead by example.
Does weight gain affect relationships?
Loss of attraction is said to be one of how weight gain may affect you. You may no longer be sexually attracted to your partner. This can cause avoidance of intimacy or worse, seeking intimacy elsewhere. If this is the case, you need to resolve this through self-reflection and honest communication.
Conclusion
Having a conversation about your girlfriend gaining weight is going to be a difficult one to navigate. You want to be honest but you also don’t want her to feel hurt or offended.
So long as you approach the subject with kindness and the intention is to look out for her best interests, then you both will come out of this unscathed. All the best!