How To Be Less Afraid Of Dating With Intention
How to be less afraid of dating with intention is a common concern that many people struggle to navigate. Society places romantic relationships on a pedestal, influencing everyone to find a partner or risk being alone. It’s no wonder that dating has become something to loathe rather than enjoy, as the pressure is placed on individuals to find “the one”.
There’s also the fear that you might get hurt in the process, leaving you questioning if it’s worth putting yourself out there with every rejection. Yet, you’ve noticed others still persevering, so you want to know how to less afraid of dating with intention?
Being less afraid of dating with intention is certainly something that can be managed over time, and the fact that you’re asking how to less afraid of dating with intention is already the first step towards managing your anxiety with dating.
Without overwhelming you with the details, I’ve shared seven key tips on how to less afraid of dating with intention.
Summary
- How to be less afraid of dating with intention
- Frequently asked questions
- How to stop being afraid of dating with intention?
- Why does dating trigger my anxiety?
- How to ask a guy what his dating intentions are with you?
- Conclusion
RELATED POSTS
- Dating With Intention – The Complete Guide
- How To Date With Intention And Stop Wasting Your Time
- Confidence In Dating – How To Truly Achieve It
- 75 Questions To Ask On Date For Memorable Conversation
DISCLOSURE
Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.
How to be less afraid of dating with intention – 7 tips
1. Practice self-compassion
Picture credit: Pexels
If you want to know how to be less afraid of dating with intention, practice self-compassion. Derived from Buddhist psychology, self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself and was pioneered by Professor Kristen Neff, who categorises self-compassion into three main components: Self-kindness, mindfulness, and a sense of common humanity.
Rather than judging yourself for being afraid to date, self-kindness is about speaking to yourself with care and understanding. Being critical of yourself is only going to make you feel worse, nor will it help you overcome your fear.
One way you can approach being kind to yourself is to ask, “Would you say this to a friend when they’re down?” Now, visualize how you would soothe them in this moment and apply it to yourself.
You can also consider writing this in your journal so you can read it back again. A writing practice like this can also be therapeutic as you will release your thoughts onto the pages.
Overall, this will put you in a much better state because you’re approaching your fear of dating with care rather than shame.
2. Challenge your thoughts
The next step in how to less afraid of dating with intention is practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness means being aware of your thoughts or feelings without overanalyzing them.
Fear of dating fuels imagined future dangers like getting rejected, embarrassing yourself in front of your date, or experiencing hurt.
When such thoughts appear, notice them before you begin to dwell on them. Next, sit with the thought and let it pass you by. I know this is easier said than done, but with practice and patience, you’ll gradually learn that these thoughts are just thoughts.
This practice of noticing will remind you that these thoughts are separate from yourself, rather than fixed truths. But if they persist, the next step is to challenge these thoughts. Often, the things that we are worried about don’t actually happen.
When we fixate on things beyond our control, we take away energy that could be better utilised for addressing things within our sphere of control.
For instance, we cannot control how our date will receive us. What we can control is how we show up during the date, and that is to be our most authentic selves. We want to anticipate danger because we think anticipating it will keep us safe. However, this frame of thinking also keeps us from the potential of experiencing good dates.
So if you want to know how to less afraid of dating with intention, notice when you’re mind starts thinking negatively, let it pass you through, and question the truth of the statement. This practice will help you feel calmer and put you in a much better headspace.
3. Remember our common humanity
Picture credit: StockSnap
Remembering our common humanity means being aware that challenges are part of the human experience. We tend to assume that we’re the only ones who have insecurities about dating and that we’re the only ones wondering how to less afraid of dating with intention.
However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Countless books, movies, and shows have shown that people do struggle with dating and overcoming dating anxiety.
By reminding ourselves that fear of dating is a universal experience, it places less pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Rather than isolating yourself, reach out to those you can trust and share your fears with them.
Your sincere loved ones will reassure you that your feelings are completely valid, and they’ll give you the encouragement you need to move forward.
4. Get clear about your dating intentions
Picture credit: karolinagrabowska
When you’re ready and have worked on these mindset shifts, take time to think about your dating intentions. What life do you envision for yourself in the next few years, and what kind of partner do you think will help support this life vision?
List down all the qualities you’re looking for, what your non-negotiables are, and what you are willing to compromise. If you need help establishing your non-negotiables, reflect on what your values are. It’s essential to align your values with those of your potential partner.
For instance, what political beliefs must you share with your partner? How important is family to you, and do you need a partner who shares your desire to start one? Or are you an explorer who wants to travel the world in the future?
Reflecting on these things is also a much better use of time than worrying about things beyond your control.
5. Seek professional help
If this sounds overwhelming, consider booking a session with a professional therapist. They will be able to offer you the resources you need to navigate your feelings as well as support you in establishing your dating intentions.
They will also be able to assist with how to be less afraid of dating with intention.
6. Start small
Picture credit: StockSnap
Remember, being afraid of putting yourself out there is a common universal experience. Set yourself small goals, such as getting coffee with someone new or dropping a text message to show your interest.
Next, set a routine to help you prepare for a date. This can involve practicing mindfulness, saying positive affirmations, and having a few questions ready. We cannot control the outcome of our date, but we can control how we show up to it.
7. Be present
Picture credit: StockSnap
Another important solution to the question of how to less afraid of dating with intention is to be present. Instead of worrying about how you’re going to be perceived, focus on genuinely getting to know your date.
Remind yourself of what your dating intentions are and ask questions that will help you determine if you’d like to continue seeing them.
When you perceive dating as an opportunity to learn about someone new and to reaffirm what you’re looking for in a partner, then it makes the experience seem more intriguing than daunting.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to stop being afraid of dating?
Focus on your date, not yourself. Shift your attention to your date. Listen intently to what they’re saying, ask questions, and absorb yourself in the conversation. This will alleviate anxiety and cultivate a richer, more meaningful experience for both of you.
Why does dating trigger my anxiety?
Several factors trigger dating anxiety. Some people may be more prone to anxiety because of their family genetics or past experiences. Examples of negative past experiences are being rejected on a date or feeling insecure about your appearance.
How to ask a guy what his intentions are with you?
On the first date, ask, “What are your intentions with dating?” Hear their reply and inform them that you’re intentional with how you date and that you’re looking for a relationship.
Conclusion
I hope this has given you some ideas on how to be less afraid of dating with intention. Navigating these concerns will take time, so be gentle with yourself. See it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you truly want in a partnership. All the best.