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MY BOYFRIEND HASN’T CALLED IN A WEEK – WHAT DO I DO?

It’s been seven days and it’s hit you – “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”. My friend experienced something similar with her then-boyfriend. 

He was angry at her over something she did. Instead of expressing how he felt, he chose to give her the silent treatment. 

He proceeded to ignore her for a few months. In scenarios like this, it’s obvious that this behavior shouldn’t be tolerated and if you’re in a similar situation, I would encourage you to reconsider this relationship. 

However, perhaps your experience differs. And there’s a part of you that wants to be proactive and understand “Why my boyfriend hasn’t called in a week?”.

Continue reading further if you’d like to know what to do and why your boyfriend hasn’t called in a week.  

Summary

  • 10 things to do when my boyfriend hasn’t called in a week 
  • Frequently asked questions 
    • Is it normal when your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you for a week? 
    • Should I text him back after he ignored me for days?
  • Conclusion 

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IN A HURRY? HERE ARE THE KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • Reflect and identify how this situation makes you feel.
  • Initiate the conversation and be ready to actively listen to his reasons. 
  • Give yourself time to process the conversation and determine if you still want to stay or leave the relationship. 
  • Be ready to forgive, identify solutions, and reaffirm boundaries if you both decide to commit to this relationship. 
  • Seek a licensed therapist if you need help navigating this conflict. 
  • If you still feel his actions aren’t justified and he shows no remorse, it’s best to leave. 

10 Things To Do When My Boyfriend Hasn’t Called In A Week 

If you find yourself wanting to confront your boyfriend immediately, I would suggest taking a step back and collecting yourself before having this conversation. 

Otherwise, you might say things that will make him defensive and push him away. So here’s a guide to help you navigate what to do when you realize “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”. 

1. Observe how you feel when you think “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”  

Thoughts like “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week” can generate distress. 

If you continue to dwell on this worry throughout your day, not only will this drain your energy, but you won’t be fully present in the other areas of your life that are just as important. 

Instead of being consumed by this thought, set boundaries with this worry. You may do so by acknowledging it and then allocating a specific time to explore this worry. 

It’s inevitable that as human beings, we cannot stop ourselves from worrying but we can choose when and where to worry. 

2. Self-reflect on the situation that is “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”

This image shows a woman journalling. It's used in the article, "My boyfriend hasn't called in a week"

Credit: picjumbo_com

Once you’ve allocated a specific time, spend 15 to 30 minutes writing down your thoughts. 

It doesn’t have to be well-written sentences. They can instead be a stream of consciousness. 

The aim is to release any pent-up emotions and concerns that you’ve been carrying on your shoulders. 

This next writing exercise is more structured and helps you assess where you stand in this relationship. These include: 

How does your boyfriend not calling you for a week make you feel? Is it worth pursuing this relationship if he hasn’t called you in a week? What justifications of his allow for forgiveness? 

It might seem overwhelming initially so don’t hesitate to take a pause and practice mindful breathing before you continue writing. 

If your boyfriend not calling you for a week is due to your actions, then reflect on what you did. 

Instead of dwelling on what you did wrong, accept that you made a mistake and identify what you intend to do about it. People make mistakes but it doesn’t define your whole being. 

Maintain calm as you collect your thoughts, and let this writing exercise help you identify how best to move forward from this situation. 

3. Initiate the conversation if your boyfriend hasn’t called in a week 

When you’re ready, initiate the conversation if your boyfriend hasn’t called in a week. You cannot control his behavior or actions but decide how to respond. 

Explain to him the purpose of having this conversation is to understand why he hasn’t called. 

Pick a time and date that is suitable for you both, and ensure that you’re calm before having this conversation. 

4. Be empathetic 

I understand you must be feeling angry and annoyed over the fact that “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”. 

However, in matters of conflict resolution, it’s important to remember that to strengthen your relationship, you must perceive the problem as being separate from the person. 

You as a couple are trying to understand and resolve the problem, which in this case is the act of not calling for a week. 

This shift in perspective will hopefully make it easier for you both to address the matter without getting defensive. 

An important skill to practice when having these difficult conversations is to practice empathy. 

Empathy refers to the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, to see things from their point of view, and to put yourself in their position. 

Allow your boyfriend to justify his actions before you decide how to proceed. 

5. Actively listen to his explanation for not calling you all week 

This image shows a woman actively listening to boyfriend. It's used in the article "My boyfriend hasn't called in a week"

Credit: freestocks-photos

One way to practice empathy is by actively listening to his points. There are several ways you can practice active listening. They include: 

  • Maintaining eye contact 
  • Nodding to acknowledge his point 
  • Ensure body language is facing your boyfriend 

You may interrupt if you need to clarify any points and summarise what’s been said so that you’re both clear. 

6. Reassess the relationship 

This image shows a woman who is reassessing her relationship. It's used in the article "My boyfriend hasn't called in a week"

Credit: StockSnap 

Now that you’ve heard the answer as to why “My boyfriend hasn’t called in a week”, give yourself time to process the conversation. 

Not calling you for a week shows poor communication. However, they can be improved upon provided that your boyfriend shows a willingness to improve and genuine remorse for his actions. 

Did your boyfriend demonstrate such behavior during your conversation? Are you willing to forgive and focus on improving this together? 

Or do you strongly feel this act has crossed your boundaries and you’re not able to move on from this? 

There’s no right or wrong answer, only the one that you feel speaks to you the most. 

7. Be ready to forgive YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR NOT CALLING FOR A WEEK

This image shows a couple embracing. It's used in the article "My boyfriend hasn't called in a week"

Credit: lambhappiness 

If you do decide to move past this situation, then be ready to genuinely forgive him. If you don’t forgive him for his actions, this will only build up resentment and foster discontent in the relationship. 

By forgiving your boyfriend for not calling the past week means that you’re committed to working together to ensure this doesn’t happen again, and subsequently improve the relationship. 

8. Identify solutions together 

Credit: gracinistudios 

If you’ve forgiven your boyfriend and he’s reassured you that he’s willing to improve himself, then work towards a solution that ensures this doesn’t happen again. 

If he was avoiding you due to intimacy issues, ask him what he needs from you to make him feel secure in the relationship. 

Psychologists would argue that certain behaviors are a reflection of one’s attachment style. 

According to psychoanalyst, John Bowlby, attachment style is informed by one’s bond with their primary caregiver during childhood, and such bond will influence how the person builds and interprets their relationships as an adult. 

Identifying what is your boyfriend’s attachment style, will help you understand their behavior and identify how you can develop a more secure relationship. 

However, I do want to preface that it’s not your responsibility to improve his behavior. The willingness to improve should come from his initiative. 

You can only be there to offer support and encouragement. You cannot control or change his behavior. 

Don’t neglect your needs as well and make it clear what you need to feel secure in this relationship and what your boundaries are for his behavior. 

Boundaries refer to personal rules of engagement that we establish to feel safe. Make it clear what behavior you will not tolerate and encourage him to do more of something specific to make you feel safe. 

Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get it right the first time or you both need to repeat yourselves several times. 

Ultimately, you both are a team and to develop a strong relationship, it requires having these difficult conversations. 

9. Seek professional help 

If the process seems overwhelming and you have the financial means, you can consider reaching out to a relationship coach or therapist to help navigate this matter. 

It’s normal for couples to struggle during conflict resolution and it’s not necessarily an indication that your relationship is doomed. 

So long as you both are still committed to making things work but don’t know how then don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help. 

Alternatively, you can also confide in a close friend whom you trust and who has experience on the matter to get advice. 

10. Break up as an option 

Credit: Jupilu 

If your boyfriend who hasn’t called in a week shows the following behaviors below, then it’s worth considering ending the relationship: 

  • Doesn’t respond to your call and text for reconciliation 
  • Continues to ignore you after you’ve repeatedly reached out to him 
  • Doesn’t have a valid reason for ignoring you 
  • Doesn’t show any remorse for his actions 
  • Shows no willingness to improve upon his behavior 
  • Demonstrated similar behavior in the past 

Not only does such behavior show a lack of care or respect for you, but it’s creating unnecessary stress for you.  

You deserve to be with someone who is just as committed to self-improvement so that they can turn up to this relationship as the best version of themselves. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is it normal when your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you for a week?

Giving someone the silent treatment is not healthy. I understand if you were in an argument and he needed space, but a week is too long. His actions indicate a loss of interest in the relationship or he’s waiting for you to reach out first. The best you can do is reach out and wait.  

Should I text him back after he ignored me for days?

Wait at least 2 to 3 days before texting him lower back. Send him a polite follow-up text message and then wait and see how he responds. From there you can decide what to do from there. 

Conclusion

Realizing that my boyfriend hasn’t called in a week is not an envious position to be in. You cannot control how your boyfriend behaves, you can only control how you receive and respond to his actions. 

It’s up to you whether or not you decide to give him another chance or end the relationship. 

What matters is that you decide which option is best for you based on the existing information you have. All the best!