There comes a point in every relationship when you realize, “My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day”.
I was called out by my partner before when I stopped asking about his day. I didn’t think it was a big deal but he explained to me that it felt as if I didn’t care about him.
This changed my perspective on the situation because it wasn’t the question itself but rather the fact that I didn’t ask implied a lack of emotional connection.
So don’t panic if you’re in a similar situation. It’s just an indication that something needs to change and that requires speaking to your girlfriend about this.
With that, read further if you’d like to know why “My girlfriend has stopped asking me about my day” and what you can do about it.
Summary
- 6 reasons why my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day
- 10 things to do when my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day
- Frequently asked questions
- Should your partner ask about your day?
- Is it normal to get bored in a relationship?
- Conclusion
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6 Reasons Why My Girlfriend Stopped Asking Me About My Day
If you’re wondering why “My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day”, the best thing you can do is confront her directly instead of assuming the worst. However, there are several reasons you can consider.
1. Your girlfriend is too preoccupied to ask about your day
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The reason “my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day” is because her headspace is caught up with challenges at work and not because she doesn’t care about you.
Understandably, our partners have responsibilities outside of the relationship so don’t take it personally if this is the case.
However, don’t continue to ignore the matter if you notice she’s been completely neglecting you. This is where it’s important to have a conversation with her about this.
2. Your girlfriend doesn’t think it matters to ask about your day
From your perspective, when your girlfriend asks you about your day, it shows that she cares about you and it’s a way for you both to connect at the end of the day.
However, your girlfriend might not feel the same way. To her, asking your partner about their day doesn’t matter. Perhaps, she feels that there are other ways for you both to connect. She doesn’t realize how important it is to you to ask about each other’s day.
3. Your girlfriend’s so comfortable in the relationship to ask about your day
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In the earlier stages of your relationship, it was normal to ask about each other’s day. This is because you were trying to get to know each other.
As time has passed, it could be that “my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day” because she feels comfortable being in your physical presence that she doesn’t feel the need to communicate with you.
From your girlfriend’s perspective, maintaining a relationship doesn’t require asking about your day.
4. Your girlfriend’s becoming distant
A possible reason why “My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day” is that she’s becoming distant in this relationship.
Perhaps you both have been busy and haven’t had a chance to check in with each other and emotionally connect. When couples don’t make an active choice to communicate and connect, this can drive you both apart.
5. Your girlfriend thinks asking you about your day is boring
Understandably, if you keep asking your partner the same question every day, it can feel routine and mundane. Your girlfriend might have stopped asking you about your day because she finds the question boring.
Perhaps, she finds the question doesn’t invite any meaningful dialogue and that she can already anticipate what you’re going to say. Rather than seeing it as a question to connect, she sees it as a superficial one instead.
6. Your girlfriend is not interested in your day
Another reason why “My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day” is because she’s simply not interested.
Your girlfriend is not interested in your day because she doesn’t care anymore. However, take this reason with a pinch of salt. The only way to know why your girlfriend stopped asking you about your day is to simply ask her directly.
With that, let’s identify how we can navigate this situation with your girlfriend.
10 Things To Do When My Girlfriend Stopped Asking Me About My Day
1. Challenge assumptions
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When our partner behaves irregularly, sometimes we assume that it’s due to something we’ve said or done when in fact, it’s due to other things outside the relationship.
This could apply to your situation. Instead of catastrophizing your relationship because your girlfriend didn’t ask about your day, take a step back and challenge your assumptions.
Has my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day because she’s slowly pulling away from this relationship? Or is she simply very busy at work? How long has it been since she asked you about your day?
Whatever it is, it’s important to check in with your thoughts and calm your mind so that you’re not creating catastrophic scenarios in your head.
2. Gather your thoughts
Your girlfriend might think this is a trivial matter. So it’s crucial to understand why your girlfriend not asking you about your day is a growing concern for you.
Usually, this is an indication of a deep-rooted problem. Do you feel emotionally neglected when your girlfriend doesn’t ask about your day? Is it because you feel seen and cared for when your girlfriend asks about your day?
In this case, the root of the matter is emotional connection, and your girlfriend not asking about your day tells you there is a lack of it.
3. Bring up your concerns when my girlfriend stopped asking me about my day
Once you’ve gathered your thoughts, initiate the conversation with your girlfriend. Pick a time and place to discuss this when you’re both calm.
You must use “I statements” when raising your concerns. For example, you can say “I feel neglected when you don’t ask me about my day. I want reassurance that you still care about me”.
Phrasing it this way puts the focus on how her specific actions make you feel rather than a judgment on her character in general.
“You statements” such as “You never ask me about my day, don’t you care about me?” can invite your partner to defend herself because it sounds accusatory. She will feel less inclined to listen to you, and you won’t have a productive conversation.
Remember, the goal of this conversation is to have her see things from your perspective, not to insinuate blame.
4. Practice empathy when discussing why she’s stopped asking you about your day
Remember this is a conversation so give your girlfriend a chance to speak. When she starts sharing her feelings, be sure to practice empathy. Empathy refers to the ability to understand what other people feel and to imagine yourself in their position.
We shouldn’t assume our partner’s intent behind their actions. We don’t truly know how they’re doing or thinking so it’s crucial to have empathy when listening to them share their feelings.
5. Actively listen when your girlfriend explains why she’s stopped asking you about your day
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One way to practice empathy is by actively listening to our partner. Often, we catch ourselves wanting to offer solutions, defend ourselves, or console our partners.
However, we should listen to understand them first before we start responding. Perhaps your girlfriend has valid reasons as to why she’s stopped asking you about your day.
You may interrupt her if you seek clarification and you can summarise her points so that you’re clear. Other ways to practice active listening are by making eye contact, nodding in agreement, and holding her hand for support.
It’s essential that your body language shows you’re open to listening and that you’re creating a safe space for her to be honest about her feelings.
6. Make bids for connection
“My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day” initially looks like a trivial matter. However, it’s this small gesture, when done consistently, that can strengthen the relationship.
American psychologist, John Gottman, refers to these small acts as bids for connection. To summarise this article, bids refer to actions (verbal or non-verbal, big or small) that invite our partner to connect with us.
They don’t have to be grand gestures but can be small thoughtful acts that can help maintain the relationship.
A 2013 study that included 5,000 participants found that small acts of kindness like making a cup of tea were highly valued and that saying “I love you” offered reassurance that made couples feel closer.
So, if your girlfriend asking you about your day makes you feel connected, then communicate this to her so she understands why this small gesture is important to you. You can also discuss what other small gestures you feel brings you both closer together.
If your girlfriend is too busy to ask about your day, then ask her what support she needs. Ultimately, you’re a team and you should find solutions that meet both your needs.
7. Ask thoughtful questions instead of asking about each other’s day
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If your girlfriend finds the question, “How was your day?” boring, why not search for prompts that encourage more meaningful conversation?
I admit sometimes I find this question boring as well. So sometimes when my boyfriend comes home from work, I’ll ask “Did anything exciting happen at work today?” or “Did you have a challenge at work today?”
By being more specific with my question, I was able to draw out a more interesting answer from my partner.
I’m also a sucker for heartfelt conversations and this deck of cards my friend recommended helped my partner and me have more meaningful conversations. You may consider trying this with your girlfriend.
8. Spend quality time together
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If your concern is a lack of emotional connection, why not make it a point to schedule quality time together?
We will no doubt experience intense, stressful, and quiet periods in our lives that will require us to adapt accordingly. In this case, your girlfriend might be experiencing a busy period at work or is preoccupied with personal matters.
So setting aside quality time will give both of you a chance to catch up with each other and see how you’re doing. This will allow you to reconnect and reassure each other that you both are committed to this relationship.
9. Seek professional help
If you can afford to, you can consider seeking professional help to navigate this matter. Or you can seek advice from close friends who you can trust.
Having a third party can help offer solutions or a different perspective on the situation.
10. Consider break up as an option
If your girlfriend dismisses your feelings or doesn’t want to meet your needs, then this indicates that she doesn’t care about you or the relationship.
In this case, you might want to consider breaking up.
You should be with someone who cares about you and is committed to making it work just as much as you do.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should your partner ask about your day?
Friendship is absolutely essential to a satisfying and stable relationship according to psychologists, John and Julie Gottman. When we meet close friends, we would naturally ask them about their day and their lives. The same should be practiced with our partners.
Is it normal to get bored in a relationship?
It isn’t unusual for relationships to get boring from time to time. It could simply mean that you need to find ways to reignite the relationship or it could be a sign of bigger and more serious problems. However, the only way to know for sure is by communicating with your partner.
Conclusion
When “My girlfriend stopped asking me about my day”, it invites the notion that she’s becoming emotionally distant or she doesn’t care about you. While these concerns are valid, it’s pointless to dwell on them.
The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner about your concerns and identify solutions together. All the best!